The anti-anti hipster

Here are the top 17 reasons why people roll their eyes when they see a hipster:

1. We enforce thinking first.

2. We are thoughtful.

3. Again, we think.

4. We are artistic.

5. We think irony is funny and sometimes put it on our bodies.

6. We read.

7. We do drink whiskey.

8. We eat well.

9. We are gentrifiers (1 Thing here: Columbus still has a holiday. People even throw him a parade).

Diez. We ask why.

Once. We like flannel.

Doce. We are thankful for alternative lifestyles.

Trece. We have money.

Catorce. We are educated.

Quince. We are prone to being hypocrites (raise three hands if you’ve never been guilty of this).

Diez y seis. We do like vintage. We like the vintage in everything. We do have an a appreciation for history and the classic while trying to hybridize, not bastardize, it into the modern. Sorry for being grateful and still modern. We promise to try and stop being so blatantly vulgar with defining quality through a past and present scheme. Again, our apologies for appreciating the old and the new. It won’t happen again. That will stop and you can leave the past elsewhere and forget it and the peculiar qualities thereof. 

17. We do wear skinny jeans. All of us.

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If we are missing something here please inform us. We’ll be sure to add it to this ‘Get the fuck over it’ list. And then please do thank your local institution of higher education for stream-lining the whole hipster creation process. It’s like an assembly line in there, internets, odd mustaches, and all. 

-The Boyfriends