Like a total Ex

It's like having a person that's been in your life for a long while and you've recently decided it's best to let them go. Move on. Try something new. Find yourself outside the context of two.

Yes, it's kind of like having an ex. This ex, this person is someone you found without ever expecting to find. This person was a person you lived with. A person you loved. This person invaded every part of your life. Your bed, your kitchen, the times you thought naps were actually for napping. And though they invaded every crawl-space of your life, you loved them, even through all the tough times, and all the times you now know you were wrong. And now, after the fact, after you've called it Splitsville, you can't escape referring to every part of your old life, that past life, no matter how far back or how recent, to that person because they became so much of your everything.

I'm having this problem now. Everything I say starts with her. She is the beginning to every statement and every preface for every sentence: 'Back when I lived in New York...' or 'Brooklyn this...' or 'Yeah, I remember back in New York...' The worst part is that I hear myself saying it before I ever say the words and I too want to roll my eyes. I can see everyones' faces, 'Get over her Remoy,' they are thinking. 'Move on,' they want to say. If only she were that easy to ever get over.

But Lord knows I have a problem w/ moving on and maybe instead of trying to run or replace or forget, I'll just enjoy the little bit longer I have with all the memories that made the girl, the place, and the old life so damn beautiful.


-Remoy